I Awake to the Dawn, Reflected in Your Eyes
by PiOneOneZero
Summary: After meeting the Intendant for the first time, Kira is left with some confusing feelings. Fortunately Jadzia is around to help her work through them. A/N This is my first DS9 fic so be gentle! I struggled to find a beta so if you spot any glaring errors please message me.
1. Chapter 1

Stepping out of the airlock, still in a purple dress that she'd never have voluntarily chosen to wear, Kira felt incredibly self-conscious. She'd taken care, in the nearly eighteen months she'd worked on DS9, to portray a very specific image. This outfit couldn't be more of a departure from that carefully crafted persona.

The rest of the senior staff were present, allegedly to check she and Julian were unharmed - but Kira suspected it was more abject curiosity than anything else. She couldn't really blame them – if it had been one of the others she knew she'd have been down there like a shot after seeing that viewscreen image broadcast through to Ops from the runabout. Their going missing then showing back up with Julian plastered in dirt and her dolled up like a common tart had to raise a lot of questions as well as eyebrows.

There they all were as the door rolled back - eyes boring into her, and she felt herself squirm under the attention. Why did it have to be her that was wearing the ludicrous outfit and not Julian? She exchanged a few words with the Commander, all the while her head bowed and eyes fixed on her far from sensible shoes. She continued to avoid eye contact with the rest of them as she performed what felt oddly like a walk of shame, acknowledging each of them but saying no more than she had to.

She'd almost escaped the corridor when something made her look up as she glanced over Jadzia's boots. She couldn't put her finger on what compelled her, but it was a strong urge and when she did so the look that greeted her there was not what she had expected. There was the predictable amusement at the ludicrousness of the situation, but also something else - appreciation? Desire even!?

She was unable to process that though, before she was even more surprised by her own reaction to it. She... liked it, so much so that she felt the flutter of butterflies in her stomach. Something in her seemed to *want* Jadzia to look at her in that way. She quickly looked away again before she did anything to betray herself, and hurried on past.

She had no idea what to make of what had just happened. Dismissing it with a shake of the head as merely a symptom of how unsettled she was by their strange experience, she suddenly felt very glad she'd asked Sisko for permission to change before the debrief...

* * *

The crew had assembled in the conference room and hour or so after the runabout's return to discuss what had transpired. Jadzia couldn't help watching Kira as she and Julian talked through their experiences.

She'd heard of this 'other universe' that had been visited by various members of Starfleet over the past 200 years, but this was the first time she'd been privy to a firsthand account of it, so everything about it should have been utterly fascinating and yet she found herself becoming increasingly distracted. Kira had changed out of the extremely flattering dress she'd been wearing on her return – Jadzia thought this was a shame and hoped Kira had decided to keep it, although she doubted this going on past experience. Kira had never been thrilled about dressing up for the various holosuite adventures Jadzia had managed to persuade her into and on this occasion the Bajoran had worn the same put upon expression Jadzia had become so accustomed to.

She was back in uniform now, but there was an air of discomposure around her that was in jarring contrast to her usual self-assured demeanour. Something about her experiences over there had unsettled her – but then that was hardly surprising really given what Jadzia had heard about it. Dax, having lived numerous lives already, was not in the least perturbed about the prospect of meeting an alternative version of herself, but she could understand how unnerving that must have been for Kira.

Having said that, there was something more to this than just an odd experience. When Kira spoke about The Intendant, as this other Kira described herself, there was a very definite discomfort there as if Kira was struggling to reconcile something. Struggling, she supposed to figure out how similar or otherwise she and this woman actually were.

The other thing that Jadzia found somewhat strange was the fact that Kira seemed just as unable to stop glancing over at her as Jadzia did at Kira. There had been a moment, as Kira had stepped out of the airlock, where they'd made eye contact and, in that moment, something had passed between them that Jadzia was having a hard time defining. She'd probably looked quite appreciatively at Kira – as she'd noted earlier the dress was very flattering – but this was not unusual for Jadzia who was fascinated by aesthetics and the contrasts in how people could appear in different attire and circumstances.

The look she had received in return, however, she'd been unable to entirely interpret. She'd never got the impression, previously, that Kira had an interest in women but in that moment it very much seemed that Kira enjoyed her attention – although there'd been something else there also; Kira had looked away quickly, apparently very keen to hide what she was feeling from Jadzia. This, coupled with the fact that Kira kept glancing over at her then continuing to look away sharply each time, had her intrigued.

For the remainder of the debrief she kept her eyes fixed on anyone else in the room but Kira, whilst surreptitiously peeking at her out of the corner of her eye. Kira continued to look over at her frequently- allowing her gaze to rest longer as she realised Jadzia was no longer looking in her direction. It was an odd feeling – there was a fascination in Kira's gaze and Jadzia found herself enjoying the attention, but also struggling to keep herself from looking back. She had no idea what to make of it, but as they filed out of the briefing room she resolved to keep an eye on this interesting new development.

* * *

Kira felt incredibly hot and was itching to get out of the conference room once the debrief was finished. She'd hung back, however, allowing Jadzia to leave the room before her because she couldn't face the idea of having to walk past her again and keep her face turned away.

Why couldn't she stop staring at her? What the hell was this about? There was just something captivating about the way her hair fell, brushing against the edges of her face and the delicate spots that framed it so beautifully. She'd never noticed just how beautiful Jadzia was before - of course she'd known, it was obvious for all to see really - but she'd never truly seen her in that way. How perfect her figure was, and the way your eye just rode along one long perfect line of curves all the way to her feet. She was something else.

Kira caught herself just as she was about to walk straight into the owner of those curves as Jadzia paused in the doorway. Seriously!? What was this? She shook her head and turned left away toward the turbolift as Jadzia took a couple more steps forward allowing her to escape from the room. She had fortunately avoided making the dreaded eye contact, and hoped she'd managed to look busy and efficient rather than flustered. She could feel the heat rising in her face and could just imagine that she was almost a colour matching her uniform by this point.

Riding the lift down from Ops always came with a pleasant rush of cooler air, and she hoped this would have served to restore some way toward her usual collected self by the time she hit the Promenade. As it was, the effect was minimal, but at least she'd been able to escape Ops without further incident. Knowing the only place that could restore her mind to some semblance of order, she set off purposefully towards it.

Unfortunately, her journey was not destined to be as simple as she would have liked – she was forced to weave in and out of various knots and throngs of people; it was more crowded than on an average day down here, which was just typical when she was in such a hurry to get somewhere. It seemed like every way she turned there was someone blocking her path or stepping forward into the space she'd just managed to create for herself. Several times she almost managed to walk into people - inevitably each of them women and each time she found herself having a similar, if not quite so strong reaction, as the one she'd had towards Jadzia. It seemed like gorgeous women with pearlescent skin and cherry lips had mounted an invasion on the station, and Kira found herself growing more and more flustered to the point where she had to slip out of the crowd and get some air - back pressed up against the side wall of a shop as she struggled to regain her breath.

Everything seemed just a little too bright and too loud. The people around her were an assault on her usually robust sensibilities and she felt herself slowly sinking down the wall to the floor; overwhelmed by it all. She closed her eyes, trying a few moments of meditation in an attempt to re-centre herself. It worked up until the point where she opened her eyes again, and found herself face to face with a blonde human woman with eyes like sapphires and the softest of voices which asked,

"Are you all right?" Kira stumbled over her reply a little but managed to stutter out,

"Y...yes I just got a little hot in the crowd is all. Would you mind helping me up? I'm trying to get to get to the Bajoran shrine". She gestured vaguely in the right direction and was relieved when she looked up to see that she was almost there.

"Of course - I'll help you over there". The woman hooked an arm under Kira's armpit and pulled her up, taking some of Kira's weight as she did so to allow the Bajoran to recover her balance. The tingling sensation Kira experienced at the contact travelled all the way down to her toes and almost threatened to send her into another tailspin. Only a supreme act of willpower kept her upright and she allowed the woman to lead her forward through the crowd and into the entrance of the shrine.

"Thank you". The woman smiled at Kira, her face lighting up with the expression, and Kira was forced to swallow deeply as she replied,

"Not at all - it was my pleasure". The word pleasure sounded emphasised to Kira, but she couldn't be sure if it actually was, or the impression was just a further symptom of her state of mind – either way it once again threatened her fragile control. The woman smiled again, a little awkwardly as if unsure whether to say anything more, then turned and left.

After watching her go, a little mournful of not even finding out her name, Kira stepped into the main part of the shrine and instantly felt more centred. She had come to her oasis of calm and was certain that with a good long meditation session she'd be feeling more like herself again. She took out a taper and matches from the cupboard and began to light the candles, humming softly to reassure herself as she did so.


	2. Chapter 2

Jadzia only became aware of Kira's sharp exit from the room behind her as she caught movement out of the corner of her eye and, glancing to her left, spotted Kira already entering the turbolift. There was doubtless a lot on Kira's to do list after her being away from the station for several days, but Jadzia couldn't entirely dismiss the way she left with such an easy excuse. It was hard to tell whether Kira was just determined to get back into her normal routine as quickly as possible, or if there was more to it, but gut feeling, fueled by lifetimes of experience, told her Kira was avoiding her. Her curiosity was definitely piqued.

The feeling was affirmed when Julian turned to her and asked,

"Is she all right?" Clearly Jadzia was not the only one to observe Kira's rather odd behaviour, and she grasped the opportunity to see if he could cast any light on it.

"You tell me - you know more about what went on over there than I do", she gave Julian a sideways glance as she spoke, trying to assess his demeanour for any similar signs of disquiet. She sensed nothing unusual.

"Well we didn't spend that much time together to be honest. I saw more of that Intendant woman than I did of Kira". He seemed very relaxed and, Jadzia noted the huge disparity between he and Kira's reactions to their odd experience. He seemed to be taking it all in his stride, which was very strange in a way because by all accounts Kira had been treated much better than he had. But then... he hadn't met himself. Clearly that was where the issue lay.

"Julian, would you take a walk with me? I'd like to hear whatever you can tell me about this 'Intendant'". Predictably Julian seemed excessively keen on the idea and Jadzia smiled inwardly at his misguided youthful exuberance. He would learn how to relate to women; in time.

Consciously giving Kira some space, Jadzia turned the opposite direction and preceded Julian toward a different turbolift that would take them out toward the habitat ring. The perfect place for a leisurely walk and a deep conversation.

"So what was she like - I mean, _really_ like? Obviously I heard the debriefing but that was just bare facts and actions. I want to know who she is not just what orders she gave or who she's working for". The dim lighting in the corridor cast harsh shadows on Julian's face, making him look older as he creased his brow in recollection,

"Well, nothing like Kira. Actually probably about as polar opposite to Kira as you could get. I mean they have the same confidence but aside from that. She was… sexy, mysterious and a little dangerous. And far more interested in power and hedonism than in spirituality or political reform". Jadzia regarded Julian as he spoke, trying to gauge how convinced he actually was by his own words, how sure of his own preconceptions of their Kira.

"You don't think Kira is sexy?" The words were out before she really registered the thought, but although she was momentarily surprised by her own frankness, she didn't regret it. Julian looked equally surprised – or perhaps even more so - and then flustered when he realised she actually wanted an answer to the question.

"Well... erm... she's not unattractive, it's just… I don't see her that way". He stopped for a moment then, pausing at a junction in the corridor, and regarded Jadzia critically as if the full implication of her words was only just sinking in, "You do though, don't you? You're attracted to her".

Jadzia wasn't embarrassed by his question, but she was more surprised he'd had the confidence to say it than she'd been by her own openness.

"She's a strong woman Julian, but she is still very much a woman. She combines power, self-assurance and grace with an effortlessness I envy. So yes, I suppose I do find her attractive. But that's not really what we're talking about here. I guess what I'm trying to work out is whether the Intendant and Kira are really all that different. They have different goals perhaps, and they play different roles, but underneath it all - how much difference really is there?"

Julian appeared deep in thought for a few moments. The longer the pause in conversation went on, the more Jadzia got the impression there was something he was struggling to say, perhaps even something he didn't want to say.

"Julian what is it? What happened over there that's got both of you so bothered about something?" She looked directly at him as she spoke, but then stepped forward into the side corridor, hoping if she got him to start walking again it would help him continue the conversation. It appeared to have the desired effect as he followed her lead, then sighed deeply before finally replying,

"You're right, actually. Thinking about it I suppose fundamentally there really isn't that much difference between The Intendant and Kira. Except perhaps for one specific thing". Jadzia stared at him expectantly, again surprised by the tight knot that clenched in her stomach in anticipation of getting to the root of what was going on here, but he didn't get the hint so she was forced to add with exasperation,

"Well don't keep me in suspense Julian - what is it!?" He still seemed reluctant - almost a little nervous about continuing to voice his train of thought, but after Jadzia forced herself to soften the expression a little he relented,

"It's just... has Kira ever talked much to you about, you know... sex?" Jadzia almost laughed, but for his sake and the sake of not stalling the conversation further she restrained herself. Julian could be so endearing when he was flustered or embarrassed.

"It's come up a few times, any particular reason?" She tried to keep her tone of voice neutral despite her ever growing impatience.

"And has she talked to you about any of her previous... partners?" The word partners was loaded, but despite his heavy attempts at hinting Jadzia was still unable to discern his point.

"She's mentioned two or three names - Julian what exactly is it you're getting at?" He sighed again, her forcefulness finally breaking through his hesitation,

"I don't suppose any of them were women?" The moment of realisation was like a light going on in Jadzia's head - something had happened with this woman that had set Kira into a mindset of confusion. The self-consciousness, the preoccupation, her inability to stop staring at Jadzia with eyes filled with curiosity – it all suddenly started to make sense.

"No... so the Intendant prefers women?" Julian dipped his eyes a little, seeming surprised and abashed again at Jadzia managing to infer his meaning. Good grief the boy needed to mature. Still, he did manage to answer the question,

"Not exclusively... from what I saw. I think she's more a 'love the one you're with' kind of woman. You don't suppose this is what's got Kira acting all weird?" Well at least there's some hope for him although he's light-years behind the rest of us, Jadzia thought. She tried the gentle approach, only hoping she didn't come across as patronising,

"Put yourself in her shoes Julian. If you'd met another version of yourself and they were throwing themself at anyone who moved, gender not withstanding, wouldn't you find that a little challenging, unsettling?" She was making assumptions here about both Kira and Julian, and their previous encounters and experiences with sexuality, but he seemed to relate to what she was saying.

"Well yes I suppose I would actually. So what do you think we should do?" This question surprised Jadzia - it came with an air of genuine concern that she hadn't expected. This had been an odd conversation, but she managed to learn a little more about Julian as well as Kira, and she wasn't sorry for that.

"Listen if she wants to talk, but don't confront her. Give her some space. This is something she has to figure out by herself, and it may take her some time. Be supportive". Julian paused again, this time leaning against the doorway to a set of quarters. He looked Jadzia in the eye for the first time in several minutes as he replied

"I suspect if she's going to talk to anyone about it, it'll be you". Jadzia realised he was probably right, but she wasn't entirely sure if she was the best choice of impartial confidante in this case, as the vivid memory of Kira in a form fitting purple dress came floating into her mind.

* * *

Kira was glad that despite the station being more than usually busy today she was, at least for the moment, alone in the shrine. Going through the usual rituals of setting up her meditation space was as soothing as she'd hoped it would be and soon she was settling down to meditate. Seating herself comfortably cross legged on the floor she closed her eyes and began to focus on her breath - breathe in, relax, breathe out.

Breathe in - Jadzia had been looking at her too hadn't she? It wasnt just Kira's imagination, the Trill had definitely been looking at her with some intent. Kira checked her wandering mind - focus, breathe, relax. The woman who had come over to her by the wall - the intensity of her eyes bored into Kira's mind; she remembered her gaze locking onto them, those wells of impossibly deep blue, then wandering down her body as she'd leant down to help Kira up. With an irritated sigh this time, Kira roughly pulled at her mind to coax it back. Years of meditative training had taught her this was precisely the wrong thing to do - she should be calm and gentle with herself like a wayward puppy, but there was a desperation in her to centre herself that made patience impossible.

Half a dozen more times she tried and failed to focus her mind back on the calm well of her breath, each with increasing frustration until finally she jumped up from the floor and grabbing the cushion she'd been seated on, hurled it against the wall. Every time she'd found herself this angry, this frustrated, this confused, she'd always been able to use meditation to help. And today, for some reason, she couldn't find that ever present calm within herself. She felt lost and afraid.

Collapsing back to her knees, head in hands and sobs of frustration wracking her body, an image rose in her mind of one of her early teachers - a kindly older Vedek woman. Words that she'd spoken to Kira a long long time ago came back to her then.

"You can't force it Kira, forcing it will get you nowhere. If you find yourself too emotional to meditate, and at times in your life it will happen, you need to reach out for guidance from somewhere external to yourself".

Kira slowly raised her head from her hands, still kneeling and face streaked with tears. As she did so, the first thing that her eyes fell upon was the Orb of Prophecy and Changed nestled inside its alcove on the far wall of the shrine.

 _"Reach out for guidance"_

She stood from her position on the floor, pushing up from her toes in one long fluid motion. A calmer air descended on her as she was compelled to walk, slowly and deliberately, over to the Orb and open the casing. The familiar blinding light radiated out from inside the box and pulled at her consciousness as if drawing her forward into it.

She opened her eyes, having not even realised she'd screwed them up tightly, to see the station's briefing room, although some of the details and décor appeared how they had been in the mirror universe, and others as they did here on _her_ Deep Space Nine making this some disorienting amalgamation of the two. Surrounding her were representations of all the senior staff, and seated at the desk with her feet up on it and reclining back into her chair was the Intendant. She was the first of the apparitions who spoke

 _"This one looks like you"_ Kira stepped a few paces forward toward the desk. The 'Intendant' lacked the same wide eyed challenge the real one had permanently regarded her with, and it was refreshing to be able to look at the other woman without her guts trying to tie themselves in knots.

"Yes, she does look like me..."

 _"She is you, and she is not you. You are her and you are not her"._ A predictably confusing response, but Kira was used to the Prophets being less than direct.

"You mean we are alike - she is who I could have been if circumstances had been different; if the Universe I was born into had been different".

 _"You are the same. You are different and you are the same"._ Kira felt a second presence at her shoulder and turned to see 'Julian' standing just behind her.

 _"When you look at her, you see yourself. To you, she is you, but she is not you"._ A third presence appeared at her other shoulder, and she flicked her head again to the other side, to see 'Sisko' disturbingly close to her face.

 _"You are her. She shows you yourself"._ Directly behind her she felt someone dropped their hands gently but firmly onto her shoulders and she whipped around, startled. She found herself staring straight into the eyes of 'Jadzia' who was standing mere inches away from her.

 _"You see yourself now, and this one - you see this one when you did not see her before. What is she to you? Do you know? Do you see the answer?"_ Kira felt her heart race so strongly she felt it was going to beat out of her chest.

"What are you trying to tell me? That this Intendant, this… other me has shown me something about myself?" The 'Intendant' had stood up from the desk and walked over to assume the remaining fourth position around Kira so she was now thronged in a ring. The Prophets began to walk around her, slowly at first, but then faster and faster until she began to feel dizzy. They spoke as they did so, and as the speed of their movement, the voices became indistinct from one another – maybe they all began to speak together as one.

 _"She has turned you toward a new path. Her path is your path, although they are not the same"._

 _"See her, see yourself. Look at her, look at yourself. Learn. Step forward"._

 _"Accept the gift she does not know she has given you. Take her knowledge, take her path that is yours and not yours"._

 _"Eyes that were blind now see. Eyes that were blind now see but they do not know they see. Look, do not try to define"._

After what seemed like forever, suddenly they stopped moving – and Kira found herself face to face once more with 'Jadzia', who stood squarely before her with hands on her hips,

 _"_ _This one is the key Kira Nerys. This one will help you understand"._

Then, just as suddenly as the wraiths has ceased their hypnotic motion, Kira felt herself falling backward as the vision ended. As she hit the floor and breathed out heavily with an 'oof', she was very thankful to her past self for throwing the floor cushion – it had landed in the perfect spot to at least partially break her fall. She took a few deep breaths, allowing the words and images of the vision to fully sink in. She didn't want to forget a single word.

She thought she knew now, what these odd feelings were about and it seemed the Prophets wanted her to accept what she was coming to realise about herself and step forward on a path to explore it. That instantly sent a stab of fear to her gut. She was not normally one to fear the unknown, but this was the unknown within rather than the unknown in the world around her and that was a source of terror. External threats she had ample experience of dealing with, but there had been very little time for self-exploration during her years in the resistance. Maybe that was the reason she was only finding herself confronted with these personal questions now.

She stood and began tidying up the room, determined to set it as it was when she had arrived. Despite her initial trepidation, she felt a little more settled - and began to wonder whether the feeling in her stomach was entirely fear or if part of it was nervous excitement. But the frustration and confusion she'd felt with herself since her return seemed to be fading a little. It may to take a long time for her to figure all this out completely, but at least for now she was happier to accept the realisation and step forward with the blessing of the Prophets at her shoulder.


	3. Chapter 3

It had been several weeks since Kira and Julian's excursion into the mirror universe, and in that time Jadzia had tried to both give Kira space and appear relaxed whenever Kira had occasion to speak to her. The awkwardness she felt from the other woman had lessened somewhat, but Kira had not shown any indication of wanting to talk about her obvious distraction.

Jadzia was absent mindedly wandering down the promenade, thinking about doing a little shopping before meeting up with Julian for lunch, when she spotted Kira perched on a stool in Quark's looking intently into her drink. Perhaps it was time to try a little gentle coaxing – if Kira was still very keen not to talk, she could easily turn the conversation to something lighter.

Moving over toward the bar, Jadzia almost managed to walk right up to Kira before the Major even noticed that she was there.

"Penny for your thoughts", she said to Kira, smiling, as she sat down on the next stool and inclined her head toward Rom to indicate that she wanted her usual drink.

"I'm sorry, what?" Kira responded, still seeming extremely distracted, but a little of her more usual direct demeanour was drawn out by Jadzia's direct question.

"It's an old earth saying Benjamin is fond of. A penny used to be a unit of currency at one time and 'penny for your thoughts' was a way of asking someone to tell you what they're thinking about, usually when they look completely lost in contemplation like you do right now". Kira sighed before turning her stool a little towards Jadzia to engage her more properly in conversation. Jadzia was pleasantly surprised at the other woman's willingness to talk – perhaps she should have pressed this weeks ago.

"I suppose you're right. I am a little preoccupied. Well... more than a little actually, if I'm honest". Kira looked down at her drink as she spoke – twisting the glass around with the hand that still rested on the bar.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Kira looked up at the question, making eye contact with Jadzia properly for the first time since her return – Jadzia could see the uncertainty that had been betraying itself in her every action.

"I'm not sure if I want to, but I probably should". Kira paused then, taking a deep breath in and looking down once more at her glass before raising her head to meet Jadzia's gaze again, "it's since we came back from the... other universe. I've just been feeling... well I hardly know how to explain it. I'm not sure I know who I really am any more".

Jadzia raised her eyebrows and puffed out a breath before replying, "Well I wasn't expecting it to be that philosophical, and before lunch as well". She kept a slight teasing hint in her voice, hoping that and her care not to give away any hint she'd noticed Kira's odd behaviour over the past few weeks would set the Bajoran at ease. It didn't work.

"Look, maybe I shouldn't bother you with this, I'm sure you've got much more important things to be getting on with that sitting here listening to me witter on". Gently does it Jadzia, gently.

"What else are friends for? If you have something on your mind, that I can help you work out, and you want me to help you, then I'm here". Kira took another, rather nervous and shaky breath, before nodding her head slightly in thankful affirmation and continuing,

"Meeting the Intendant. It was... eye opening. She's so different to me and yet... in many ways, she is me and I'm her. I was just so sure, before. So certain that I knew who I was and what my place in the universe was. Now... I don't know".

"It has to be a strange experience. Meeting 'yourself'..." Jadzia emphasise the 'yourself' in such a way as to remind Kira that she and the Intendant were very much two distinct peope, "... has to be unsettling. Like someone holding up a mirror".

"That's sort of what I feel like. It's just, it makes me question, what makes me me you know. What differentiates us and what makes us the same. What she has shown me about myself". Jadzia listened intently, but continued to play innocent about Kira's true thoughts.

"Kira, just because she has done awful things doesn't change the fact that you're a good person. You might have started out the same but you made different choices - you made better ones and that makes you the better person regardless of who she is or what she's done. Her crimes are not your crimes". Kira smiled a little at Jadzia's words, and the Trill sensed a slight aura of amusement coming from the Bajoran,

"Jadzia, I think you misunderstand me. Don't worry I can see why - I haven't been very clear about what I'm talking about here. What I'm thinking is... quite different. Less 'megalomaniac' and more... personal. But, I'm not sure here is the best place to continue discussing this. Perhaps we could move somewhere a little more... private. If you have time that is". She gestured toward a deserted corner of the upper tier of the bar as she spoke.

"Of course". Jadzia rose from her stool and gestured for Kira to lead the way. Rom had returned with Jadzia's drink just as they were leaving the bar area, and she picked it up as Kira stepped past her. The space between the bar and the stairs was tighter than Jadzia remembered, and as she turned she came in much closer proximity to Kira than she'd anticipated, their hips brushing against one another as Kira squeezed past. Kira's eyes flicked upward to meet hers, almost in an involuntary way, and in that gaze Jadzia found the most intense of emotions – like fear, excitement and desire all rolled into one. She snapped her head away quickly, but Jadzia wasn't going to be able to forget the searing intensity of that look any time soon.

As they walked up the spiral stairs she could almost feel the waves of nervous energy rolling off Kira and she began to get a sense of what this might all be about. She wasn't certain, but the Major's behaviour was pushing her thoughts squarely in one direction; namely that the attractions she was battling with were focused more toward Jadzia than they were anyone else.

She was suddenly very engaged in where this conversation was going to take them and began to feel a little fluttering excitement of her own - she made a point of paying more attention to Kira's body language as they sat down at the secluded table overlooking the bar. The Bajoran coughed a few times and made a show of shuffling in her chair - Jadzia could see she was becoming uncomfortable again and trying to avoid the coming conversation. She reached out and placed a hand over Kira's where it rested on the table, causing her to freeze; her tension marked in the set of her jaw.

"Nerys", Jadzia made pointed use of her given name, "whatever it is you can talk to me about it. You don't need to be afraid". She continued to make very sure not to let on she had any idea what Kira as about to tell her, even though she was confident that she knew exactly what this was about. The way Kira had frozen when Jadzia touched her had all but confirmed it. Kira continued, haltingly,

"What I'm trying to say is... that since I met the Intendant and I was thinking how she, relates to people... who she... relates to to be more frank, I've been thinking and wondering... and maybe assessing some of my previous life choices or... trying to work out whether I gave certain things enough thought or any thought actually, and now I don't seem to be able to get certain ideas... people... out of my head..." she trailed off, looking hopefully at Jadzia for an indication that she'd managed to translate Kira's rambling into anything coherent. Jadzia took pity on her and filled in the blanks,

"What you're trying to say is that seeing the Intendant have relationships with both men and women has made you question your own sexuality?" Kira looked relieved, then slightly embarrassed as she realised Jadzia had most likely already had suspicions about what she was thinking. Quietly, she continued,

"Since we got back I haven't been able to stop... looking at women, you know... differently. I'd never really felt like this before and now... well it's like I found a whole new part of myself I never knew existed". Jadzia smiled as she listened to Kira talk about her feelings,

"That's wonderful, Nerys, I'm really happy for you. It's amazing to be able to discover new things about yourself, especially things which can mean such important changes in your life. Good changes". Kr ahad visibly relaxed, and Jadzia noted that not only had she kept her hand in contact with Jadzia's, she also seemed to have forgotten they were still touching. With renewed confidence Kira asked,

"How do Trill... handle this type of thing?"

"Same sex relationships you mean? With very little difference to opposite sex ones. Gender is largely irrelevant to Trill aside from if we're trying to procreate – particularly the joined; when someone has inhabited bodies of both genders it seems to be somewhat less of an important distinction. How about Bajorans - it isn't frowned upon is it, that isn't why you're having such a struggle with this?" Jadzia was hit with a sudden concern that she didn't know about Bajoran attitudes to such relationships, and hoped she hadn't uncovered a new layer of complication.

"Not frowned upon exactly, but not common either. A same sex relationship wouldn't be forbidden – there is historical precedent for the Prophets giving their approval to a number of same sex relationships – but it would likely still be a curiosity, an object of interest".

"And you're not sure whether you'd want that kind of attention". Kira's concern for privacy only served to deepen Jadzia's growing attraction toward her.

"Right. That it assuming I even want a relationship with a woman - these feelings are... very new". She gave a subtle emphasis to the word woman, and glanced up briefly at Jadzia as she said it. Emboldened by her now near certainty of Kira's feelings for her, Jadzia decided to go for broke,

"Well exactly. I mean you'd need someone specific and willing in mind to have a relationship with. It's probably wise if you experiment a while first, before committing to anything you aren't sure about".

"Experiment... right". Kira laughed a little then, coyly, looking at Jadzia again – this tim through the lashes of her half closed lids. Jadzia wasn't sure if Kira's flirtation was intentional, subconscious, or merely an accident arising from the fact that she was still somewhat self-conscious and embarrassed. The Major had just confirmed herself to be a very private woman and Jadzia knew that talking so frankly about sexual relationships and feelings couldn't be easy for her, especially with the person those feelings were currently focused on.

Jadzia tried to remember what it had been like to be shy about this kind of thing, back in the days before she had seven lifetimes of experience under her belt, and five children that she'd seen through puberty with all the questions and issues that came with that responsibility. It was difficult, so she decided to completely abandon all subtlety and continue with the direct approach.

"So you would be...interested, in pursuing this experiment then?" Kira took a few moments to consider this before replying, but she didn't withdraw from Jadzia's question – in fact if anything her directness seemed to make Kira more confident,

"Yes, I guess I would". There was a simple, honest certainty to her reply, and Jadzia couldn't answer it with anything other than the same,

"Well how about it then?" It clearly took a few moments for Jadzia's words to really sink in with Kira, but Jadzia relished the moment that she saw them register. The look of astonishment on the Major's face was one that she would remember for another seven lifetimes, if not longer. There was an interminable pause where Kira wrestled with her thoughts before stuttering he reply,

"You mean... you... and me... Oh Prophets... are you serious?" Jadzia couldn't quickly recall an instance where she'd been more serious,

"Why not? We know each other well enough, I find you an attractive woman and you've been undressing me with your eyes ever since I walked in here. It would seem a waste not to really". Jadzia took great delight in striking Kira dumb again, but despite her obvious surprise at Jadzia's directness, she didn't seem the slightest abashed by the idea.

"Suppose I said yes, then what? Wouldn't it all be a bit, arranged, a bit awkward?" Jadzia hadn't expected Kira to be so immediately keen, but the fact that she was filled her with delight.

"How about this - if I can persuade you into a holosuite - you pick the program - we go in there to relax and chat, just hang out together, no pressure, no expectation and we just see where it takes us. If that's nowhere then fine, if it's somewhere then we'll take each step as we come to it". Kira relaxed a little more and smiled shyly,

"I think I can cope with that".

"Good - it's a date". Jadzia motioned for Quark to come upstairs and after a few minutes of quiet conversation with him she returned to the table.

"Right it's all settled. I'll have to go and meet Julian for lunch now, but have a good think about where you'd like to go, let Quark know, and I'll see you at nineteen hundred hours". She raised an eyebrow and winked as she walked away, the image of Kira's half stunned, half excited expression searing itself into her mind.


	4. Chapter 4

Kira entered the holosuite, taking a seat in the waiting area of the little cafe that she had settled on as the program in which to meet Jadzia. She wasn't even sure which planet this place was from, or even if it was based on a real place at all, but after over an hour of frustrated searching through the available programs she'd just given in and picked one. The longer she'd remained there, the more she'd felt Quark breathing down her neck - she could tell that the little troll knew there was something going on and was putting two and two together to get... well four actually. Kira sighed. She hated the idea of her private life becoming public business, especially when she was less than confident of her own feelings or even exactly what it was happening between her and Jadzia.

She glanced at the timepiece on the wall - 1850. Jadzia would be here soon. She hoped her churning stomach would settle before then - it wasn't like her to be so nervous but then this situation was way out of her comfort zone. She had no idea what to expect, which was in equal parts utterly terrifying and deliciously thrilling.

She looked around the cafe as she waited - it was quiet, and the windows looked out on to an equally tranquil paved street - bright and clean with colourful shop fronts across the way from where she sat. Kira tried very hard to convince herself that this was all real, but she just couldn't. She'd really never been one for holosuite at all, but if it made Jadzia happy... She smiled at the thought that her actions could make Jadzia happy – and at least they were away from prying eyes here unlike at Quark's or the Replimat.

She accepted a drink from the waitress - they had spring wine in this imaginary place then, despite the fact that she couldn't see any other Bajorans in here. She knew it was only synthehol but it tasted pretty good. She wondered then, if her favourite drink had been an original part of the program, or whether Quark had added in that little detail in order to make clear to her that he was paying special attention. Creep.

Still, it was nice to sit here looking out on the sun drenched view and sipping her spring wine. That was the moment when Jadzia walked in. She was wearing a long blue dress that accentuated her figure, with lattice detailing that showed off the delicate spots that ran down her sides to perfection. Oh boy. She'd let her hair down from its usual efficient style, and it fell in soft ringlets over her shoulders. Kira felt a wave of nervous excitement tingle down her arms and settle somewhere in her gut, or perhaps a little lower. Jadzia smiled broadly as she walked over,

"Good evening, you were here a little early I see".

"Well I wanted to make sure we got a good table". Kira glanced around at the mostly empty cafe and laughed slightly. Jadzia seemed to appreciate the joke.

"You look... lovely", Kira added.

"So do you", Jadzia replied, looking the Major up and down in a way that increased the butterfly feeling in her stomach tenfold, "it's nice to get you out of uniform".

Kira felt herself freezing up at the jest, chastising herself as she did so; there was no need to be afraid - it was only Jadzia. But already, the parameters of their relationship felt different, she wasn't Jadzia the friend and colleague any more, she was suddenly Jadzia the potential lover and Kira had to figure out how to relate her on a whole new level. They just needed to get past this initial uncertainty, and she was certain things would settle down. Settle down into what, Kira had no idea, but she couldn't wait to find out.

The waitress came over and brought them to their table - a secluded booth that still had a good view of the sunny outlook but that was clearly designed for privacy. Jadzia sat down and leaned forward a little over the wide table - Kira tried to keep her glance at the Trill's cleavage subtle, but Jadzia was a master at reading people and smirked the instant she saw Kira's eyes flick down and then back up again. She placed her hand over Kira's in a mirror of her gesture earlier at Quark's and Kira felt sparks of electricity crackle through her and head for a place that was definitely south of her belly this time. She felt the colour rise into her cheeks and she looked away.

"Nerys... I can call you Nerys?" Kira found the question a little odd, given Jadzia had used her given name previously, but things had changed between them since then, and Kira appreciated the thoughtfulness Jadzia showed in asking.

"Of course". Kira couldn't manage any more of a response just yet – the whirl of things she wanted to say to Jadzia welled up in her head but stalled on the way out.

"Well then, Nerys..." Jadzia shuffled down in her seat slightly so she could look into Kira's dipped eyes, "I just, I want you to try and relax. I promise you I meant it when I said I'm not expecting anything. We're just going to have a nice dinner and a pleasant conversation. But if this is too much pressure, I understand".

"No, no it's not too much pressure. I do... want this. I've been thinking about it... you... all afternoon and I really do want this I just... it's going to take a little time, you know?" Jadzia smiled,

"Absolutely. So, what shall we have to eat?" Kira made a show of glancing over the menu, without really managing to take any of it in. Jadzia's hand was still warm and soft against hers and she was finding it very distracting. On the other hand, she had no desire for the other woman to move it away.

"I... I'm not really sure what I want. Everything sounds delicious". Jadzia smiled again and, beckoning for the waitress, ordered two portions of a dish Kira had never heard of, and a basket of assorted breads with dip for them to share whilst they waited for the food. Kira decided then that she couldn't act like a frightened animal all evening and let Jadzia lead everything, so she grasped the initiative.

"How was your lunch with Julian?"

"As entertaining as always - he does try very hard the poor boy. He was regaling me with tales of his latest bio-science project"

"Really, what's he working on?"

"Oh I don't know, mapping the molecular structure of the such and such virus. I mean, he knows I don't really have much interest in medicine, but his little face just lights up so much when he talks about his work that I just didn't have the heart to stop him, you know". Kira laughed aloud in agreement with Jadzia's assertions. The Trill smiled broadly and continued,

"But we didn't come here to talk about Julian did we? How was your afternoon?"

"Oh well let me see, went through the Criminal Activities report with Odo, had a meeting with the commander about some Klingon dignitaries we're playing host to next week, looked over the crew rosters, fielded some calls from the Vedek Assembly representative about the election for Kai... so it was a fairly quiet afternoon actually. Plenty of time for... day dreaming". Kira was beginning to feel more relaxed, apparently to the point where she could start to flirt with Jadzia a little, rather than trying her best to dance around the reason they were here.

"Oh really?" Jadzia raised her eyebrow in a familiar provocative gesture that turned Kira's insides to mush, "And what exactly were you day dreaming about... Major". The way she said Major was very pointed and Kira couldn't resist taking the bait.

"Oh not so much what, more... who. There's this Trill who lurks around the station, I think she's supposed to be some kind of science officer, not sure she actually gets much work done what with swanning about looking gorgeous and trying to seduce unsuspecting hard working crew members, but she sure makes the place interesting to be around".

"She sounds fabulous. I must make a point of meeting her, but you know I've heard she's not so interested in seducing crew members. More just... crew member". Kira felt her body tense again, but the fear she'd struggled with earlier was now more just on the nervous excitement end of the spectrum.

Was Jadzia saying she was interested in Kira for more than a fun and friendly experiment to help her figure these feelings out? And if so, when was Kira going to admit that whilst she'd certainly been taking more of a passing interest in various women around the station over the last few weeks, really it was Jadzia who she couldn't get out of her head, and this was far more than just a simple experiment to her.

"Jadzia, I should probably tell you something..."

"It's all right, Nerys, you don't need to explain. I think we're both starting to realise this is more than just a simple arrangement. And it's okay, I don't want you can to feel any pressure, really. Everything at your pace, like I said before. Yes, I like you. I like you a lot actually and when I realised you were beginning to feel something towards me I jumped at the chance to... get to know you more... intimately. But I'm not going to pressure you into anything before you're ready". Kira felt a huge smile spreading across her face, and for once she wasn't the slightest perturbed that Jadzia always seemed to be one step ahead of her,

"Slow. Let's just take things nice and slowly".

"Right. No need to rush into anything".

They chatted for a while longer, whilst they ate the food, Kira enjoying Jadzia's excellent choice of main course, and slowly feeling the stress of the past few weeks begin to ebb away.

When it came time for dessert, Jadzia didn't wait for Kira to look at the menu again before ordering a huge sundae with two spoons. Kira laughed at her indulgence.

"You know, it's been hard trying to get used to relaxing and just enjoying myself. It's not something I've been used to. You've been my inspiration for that you know, you always seem so carefree - I watch you playing Tongo with the Ferengi or letting your hair down in some crazy holosuite program and I just... I wish I was able to just let go like that".

"Well, I have every intention of teaching you how to do exactly that", Jadzia said, leaning back from the table so the waitress could place the colossal ice cream between them, "starting with this dessert". She scooped up a little of the cold sundae up in her fingers and, before Kira realised what she was doing or had time to protest, smeared it onto the unsuspecting Bajoran's nose. Kira started in shock, and feigned an angry look before failing miserably to keep her cool and bursting out laughing. She tried to retaliate, but Jadzia was ready for her, grabbing Kira's arm and turning her head away so she was forced to daub the melting ice cream down the side of Jadzia's face.

"Okay, okay, truce", Jadzia pleaded, and the two women locked eyes again, regarding the smeared dessert on each other's faces before cracking out in renewed laughter. It took a few minutes of alternately breaking into further giggles before they finally calmed down and smiled at one another, enjoying the shared silliness.

As they leaned over the table to continue eating, Jadzia hesitatingly inched further over the table until she could reach to dart out her tongue and lick the remains of the melted dessert from the tip of Kira's nose. Kira recoiled at the action, forcing a smile but suddenly feeling self-conscious as the holographic waitress breezed past with some other imaginary couple's order. Jadzia looked instantly apologetic,

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to overstep the line I just thought, well we were having so much fun and you just looked so cute like that... I couldn't resist". Kira sighed softly, and reached up her hand to wipe away the mess from Jadzia's cheek, softly and tenderly, the gesture ending in her resting her open palm against Jadzia's jaw; fingers curled on her cheek. Jadzia closed her eyes and slightly nuzzled into the contact with a contented 'Mmm'.

"You didn't overstep any mark, it's just... I'm not sure I can relax as much as I want to in here. I just can't get over the fact that this is a holosuite. It just feels... I don't know, it's not the way I want things to be".

"Well why don't you choose somewhere else for us to go. Anywhere you like".

"Actually, I've been thinking about it and I do have an idea. I'd like to take you for a picnic... on Bajor. I have a day off coming up in a few days and... well so do you".

"We have the same day off? Later this week? What a marvellous coincidence". Kira grinned, glorying in the fact that for once, she was getting to be one step ahead of Jadzia.

"Not a coincidence at all. This afternoon was my day to do the crew rosters don't forget..." she winked at Jadzia wickedly.


	5. Chapter 5

Jadzia watched the transport station on Bajor materialise into view as she shimmered back into existence. She glanced over at Kira who had also turned to look at her – she smiled; a more genuine smile with less nervous energy, and straight away Jadzia could sense a change in her. Jadzia had heard Kira speak passionately of her home planet on many occasions, but seeing her here for the first time – it was remarkable how she was instantly so much more grounded. It was as if a part of Kira's spirit was so inextricably linked with Bajor that she was only truly whole now she stood on its soil.

Kira's fierce loyalty and devotion to her planet, her culture and her people was such an attractive trait that Jadzia enjoyed just taking a few moments to savour the glow that appeared to surround her now that she was home. In proof of the change that Jadzia had observed in her, Kira reached out a confident hand and took hers - leading her toward a rank of taxi shuttles, one of which would take them onward to their mystery destination.

Kira had declined to tell Jadzia where exactly on Bajor it was that they were headed, but she could tell by the Major's mounting excitement as they sat in the shuttle and watched the sights go by that it was somewhere she was very keen to show to Jadzia. And that likely meant a place of deep personal significance. Jadzia couldn't wait to find out, and even more couldn't wait for the continued breaking down of barriers that was sure to follow. If Kira was ready to bring her to a place so personal, she was clearly becoming more comfortable with what was growing between them - and as she did so Jadzia found herself becoming increasingly attached to the idea of them becoming more than friends.

It was a long time since Dax had been in a serious relationship, and Jadzia had been surprised by what had transpired here. She'd thought she had total control over her feelings, but she'd been completely blindsided by how quickly after mooting the idea of an intimate experiment between friends Kira had come to mean something more to her. She was very much in danger of falling for her in a serious way - if she hadn't _already_ gone beyond the point of no return.

This was supposed to be no pressure exploration, but Jadzia had allowed herself to get in way too deep, and she hoped that things were going to work out in a way that meant she didn't either terrify Kira or risk ending up with seriously hurt feelings. Either way, they were pulling up at a shuttle station in Dahkur province, and there was little she could do now other than go with the flow and see where they ended up; besides, Kira's face had lit up with fresh excitement as they arrived at their destination and Jadzia suddenly couldn't find it in her head to worry about the situation any more.

They left the shuttle with Kira once more firmly and confidently grasping Jadzia's hand, an action that caused the Trill grin like a lovesick idiot. She hoped none of the people in the crowded station were looking at her too closely. Fortunately Kira had her eyes fixed firmly on the exit and couldn't see the stupid expression of glee on Jadzia face.

Once they'd exited the shuttle station, and found some clear space away from the crowds, Kira slowed her pace and turned back to check Jadzia was keeping up okay. Fortunately, by now Jadzia had managed to get her emotions somewhat more under control. Nevertheless she still had to fight back a lurching feeling in her stomach at the sight of a slightly flushed and breathless Kira; brought on by the effort of pushing through so many people and the heat of the day.

"It's a bit of a hike now, but it's a nice one. I hope you don't mind, I thought it would all be part of the... day". Kira looked so in earnest that Jadzia couldn't help but laugh a little as her broad grin returned,

"It all sounds wonderful". She adjusted the backpack on her shoulders as Kira did the same with hers, and they made off into what looked like a parkland area to the far side of the station. They walked side by side now, Kira still seeming eminently comfortable with Jadzia's hand resting snugly in hers. For the most part, they walked in silence, taking time to look over the scenery of the park with its ancient trees and flower ornamented lawns.

There were various statues with ancient Bajoran script surrounding them amongst the more natural sights. There was a wildness about the place - it was clear that someone tended to it but, like much of Bajor that had existed before the occupation and still survived today, there was an air of many years of neglect.

In some ways that was sad, but Jadzia also found the idea oddly charming - it was wonderful to see these kinds of places that proved no matter how much the Cardassians had wrought down on it, Bajor had endured. Everywhere you looked there were signs that new life was being breathed into a planet and that once again, the Bajorans were taking control of their destiny and coming into their own.

Jadzia enjoyed watching Kira take in their surroundings as much as she did seeing them herself; there was an interesting and marked contrast in the way the two of them enjoyed the place. Jadzia with the wonder filled eyes of a newcomer, and Kira with the loving and spiritually connected eye of the native. But they both loved this place, that much was clear. Every minute or so there would be a moment of connection between the two of them, where their eyes would meet and a look would pass between them, a little shy on Kira's part but nonetheless accompanied with warmth and smiles.

Jadzia didn't push her to talk - as much as they were enjoying the walk she sensed an urgency in Kira to reach their destination, and that when they did, that would be the time for words. For now, it was enough just to walk, see and enjoy each other's company, and the warm constant skin to skin contact of their palms cradled in one another. Jadzia felt almost as if she was going through a rite of passage - to bear witness to this place that was so much of what it meant to be Kira Nerys felt like a large part of the preparation for the next step in their relationship.

Jadzia realised then that although they had never discussed it, she may well be the first non-Bajoran that Kira had gotten this close to. It made sense that she needed Jadzia to understand what it meant to be of her people before things could progress any further. Coupled with the fact that Kira felt so much more confident and comfortable here than Jadzia had ever seen her before, made this the natural place for them to go.

After about ten minutes of leisurely walking through the expansive parkland, Kira turned them onto a track through a thicket of trees that gradually opened up into a much wilder landscape. It was scrubby and vast, the plains rolling away toward the horizon. In the distance across the tapestry of fields Jadzia could see some areas which looked more cultivated; slowly being returned back to the farmland this whole area had surely been before the occupation.

The trail wound its way along a raised bank through the scrubland, with a brook running to one side of it that glistened and sparkled in the sun. The heat of the day seemed to have increased further, and Jadzia drew a water bottle from the carrier on the side of her backpack and took a swig. It was then that for the first time since they'd left the shuttle station, Kira spoke,

"It's not much further - just around that copse and then a little further on. Then we can rest and have something to eat". She looked slightly uncertain for the first time today, which Jadzia read as hope that she approved of what she was seeing, and the Trill took no hesitation in setting Kira at her ease,

"Your planet is so beautiful". Kira beamed at the genuine statement and after replying with,

"Do you really think so?" proceeded to begin pointing out some of the major features that could be seen across the plains that surrounded them. Names of mountains and rivers, birds and flowers all sounded sing-song to Jadzia. Kira's passion for her homeworld and the beauty that surrounded them built up Bajor into something incredibly romantic in Jadzia's mind as they continued on their walk. Her anticipation and excitement for when they finally reached their destination only grew with the passing minutes.

The moment they reached the copse Kira had pointed out from further back up the hill was a relief - the cool shade amongst the trees delicious after the stifling heat of the humid trail across the scrubland. As they wound their way through the woods, Jadzia began to feel a soft breeze from ahead of them, which increased as they came to the end of the tree line and out into much greener lusher fields.

This was the part of Dahkur province that was becoming more cultivated again, and it felt very different to the rough expanses further back, but no less beautiful. Crops grew in the fields and animals grazed along the sides of the trail, the crystal water of the river still running alongside them as they continued their walk down hill. After another mile or so, the trail began to narrow down between hedgerows on either side, and not long after they were turning left into an old ruined gateway and an overgrown yard, that led across to a simple two storey farm house.

Kira dropped Jadzia's hand then and ran toward the house, glancing back over her shoulder invitingly to ensure she was following. Kira dropped down on the porch step and slid her backpack off to rest beside her. Jadzia closed more sedately and likewise sat down on the step to Kira's right, enjoying the shade that the house provided.

"Well, here we are", Kira stated decisively, "Home sweet home". Jadzia had heard that phrase, and variants of it, used over all her seven lifetimes and in many languages, but never with such feeling as Kira spoke it in this moment.


	6. Chapter 6

"Was this your home Nerys?" The Bajoran bowed her head slightly and Jadzia noticed the way she drew her lip in between her teeth, biting down on it a little at some painful thought,

"Well, no. I was born here - right back here in this room just off the porch", she gestured behind her and to her left where a long window dipped down toward the weathered planks, "but I never lived here past being a baby, so I guess it's never really been home. But it should have been".

Jadzia closed her eyes at the pain in Kira's face. She knew full well the other woman had spent most of her life in a labour camp, and wondered at Kira's choice to bring her here, to a place which Jadzia imagined could only bring painful memories, loss and regret for her. Kira must have noted Jadzia's change of mood and spoke to reassure her,

"It's all right. I enjoy coming here. You're thinking I must only look at this place and imagine what could have been, and you're right I do. But that isn't a bad feeling, it's a good feeling. Bajorans... we, for the most part, try not to dwell too much on the past. You see after all those years of Cardassian rule, yes there is anger, but the joy and relief at freedom and being able to begin to rebuild our planet... it outweighs all those things we lost. We acknowledge it all of course; all the people that didn't make it and those who, like me, were denied their childhood, their innocence. But we aren't going to make things any better by allowing ourselves to be haunted by 'what if' or 'if only'. So yes I do wish I'd been able to grow up here. But the fact that I didn't doesn't make me any less glad to be here now, with you. In fact if anything it makes me happier. Because if there's one thing the occupation has taught Bajorans it's to appreciate what we have".

Jadzia smiled and ran a hand over Kira's hair, an almost involuntary gesture of affection. At her touch the other woman turned to her and smiled back - a moment of mutual understanding passing between them; Jadzia felt the admiration she had for Kira welling up from somewhere deep inside her, and she was forced to break eye contact before the tears that were now inevitable formed in her eyes.

She distracted herself by taking flasks and packages containing their picnic from the backpacks. She could feel Kira's eyes on her as she did so, raising goosebumps on her flesh where the strong gaze rested despite the ever increasing heat of the day.

They spread out a blanket on the grass just down from the porch, in the shade of some scrubby trees. As they ate slowly, enjoying the passing of soft white clouds and the busy lives of birds and insects as they buzzed by, Kira spoke at length about the area; the geography, how it had been in years gone by and what the residents of Dahkur province were doing to restore it to its former prosperity.

It was a slow process, but gradually crops were beginning to grow again and the people thrive. Children were starting to be born here and the lanes to ring once more with the sound of their games. Bajor was coming back to life. Jadzia listened with fascination - she loved to hear Kira speak, and on a topic she was so passionate about only served to enhance the experience.

Once they had finished eating and packed their things away, Kira stood and held a hand to help Jadzia up,

"I have something else to show you". She led Jadzia around the house then, through the overgrown garden which flourished in its wildness; filled with colourful and sweet scented plants that cared not for Cardassian rule and continued to grow regardless. Out of the bottom end of the garden, through a narrow archway where hedges had grown thickly together, they came out onto the shore of a lake.

Reeds and water lilies grew in tangles around the bank, but away to the right there was a clearer area where a short jetty branched out into the water and a boat that looked incongruously new and freshly painted bobbed gently next to it. Close to the where jetty met the shore was a very obvious lone tree that branched out over the water. Kira beckoned Jadzia onward.

"Someone's been busy", Jadzia said as she looked over the lovingly refurbished boat.

"It was my father's. I was amazed to discover it was still mostly intact - the neighbour has told me so many stories of how he used to take my mother out in it. They'd row across to that little island in the centre of the lake and spend hours alone together. Kira leant against the tree to the side of the jetty, "I like to make up so many stories about what might have happened here. About my father teaching us to fish, and my brother and I making a rope swing on this tree and seeing how far we could swing out before jumping into the water. Silly isn't it?"

"I don't think it's silly at all. I think it's amazing. And incredible and brave. Just like you". Kira gazed at her for a few moments; intensely, then Jadzia saw a decision crystalise behind her eyes - in that moment she watched as the walls of resistance fell away, and the fire that had been trapped behind them begin to rise.

"You know I'd been coming here alone for so long it almost didn't occur to me that maybe it would be better to create some real memories in this place rather than just the imaginary ones. Like... perhaps under this tree could be where Jadzia kisses me for the first time". The flame burned brighter in the Bajoran's eyes, and it only took a few seconds for Jadzia to register the invitation before she leant forward and pressed her lips to Kira's, wrapping one arm around her waist and allowing her other hand to tangle into the back of her close-cropped hair.

Jadzia felt the moment that Kira surrendered to all the pent up feelings of the past weeks as she moved in closer. This was also the first time Dax had kissed a woman whilst in a female host and she marvelled at how the dance between their lips could be both so gentle and so filled with fire at the same time. Kira's mouth was so soft and so hot; Jadzia could feel the heat spreading down her body until it reached her toes.

* * *

The kiss went on and on. Kira marvelled at the softness of Jadzia's lips, the wet heat of her mouth and the sweetness. She tasted so good, unlike anything she'd ever be able to describe. Jadzia had wrapped her arms around Kira, and she did likewise, finding her hands pulling the barrette from Jadzia's hair and feeling the long, sleek strands fall down between her fingers. Jadzia had kept the contact very gentle up to now, allowing Kira the freedom to set the pace and pull away easily if she chose. The last thing she wanted right now was to pull away.

She pressed in closer to Jadzia, their bodies fully connecting for the first time. The soft swell of Jadzia's breasts pressed against her own and she let out an involuntary moan - Prophets that felt good. Jadzia was spurred on by her obvious arousal and increased the pressure of her skilful tongue against Kira's. Kira was undone, feeling heat all around her and within her, feeling her knees beginning to sag as she melted under Jadzia's masterful attentions.

The kiss finally broke away, Jadzia catching Kira and lowering her gently to the ground before she fell. The Bajoran looked up in the Trill's face, her rapture completed by the sight of a flushed Jadzia; lips still swollen from their kiss. She tried to speak but the words were not coherent,

"Whoa, that was... whoa". Jadzia laughed indulgently, flopping down beside Kira and lolling her head back,

"Yes it was rather, wasn't it? A pity it's so very, very, hot". The flirtation in her voice was shameless, and Kira couldn't do anything but ride the surreal wave of heady pleasure that was still washing over her. Her stomach was a tangled mass of giddy excitement. She wondered then how on Bajor she must look, collapsed there sweaty and exhausted. But Jadzia didn't seem in the least phased, looking at her with an expression which showed she was enjoying this every bit as much as Kira, her hair falling attractively over her face in tousled strands.

After taking a few minutes to recover herself, Kira stood and gestured for Jadzia to follow her to the boat. They stowed the backpacks carefully inside and jumped in , Kira taking up the oars. Jadzia untied the rope and pulled it in, watching as Kira used one of the oars to push the boat off from the jetty and out into the lake. They rowed south toward the far end of the island, then around, enjoying the cooling breeze that came with being out on the water.

They sat facing one another, eyes roaming the scenery and every so often meeting back together again, as they had been doing all day, smiling like giddy teenagers each time they did so. Kira felt her previous shyness reasserting itself slightly after their kiss, and struggled to maintain eye contact with Jadzia without feeling self-conscious. Once, when Kira dropped her eyes, Jadzia reached out and put a hand over one of hers to reassure her; Kira stalling in her stroke at the gesture.

After about an hour of rowing around the lake and taking in the sights, Kira made for a gravelly inlet on the island, which had two narrow score marks leading up onto the beach where the boat had clearly been moored on numerous previous occasions. They jumped out into the shallows when they hit the shore, pulling the boat up behind them until it was clear of the water.

"Now, we explore". Kira said excitedly. Jadzia paused at her words, raising an eyebrow,

"Explore? You mean you haven't been here before?" She sounded surprised, and Kira realise she was going to have to admit the thought she'd been holding back all day.

"No, I... well I was waiting for someone special... so it would mean something like it did to my parents." Kira searched Jadzia's face anxiously for her reaction – but she needn't have worried; Jadzia's expression slowly blossomed into one of astonishment and delight.

"I'm someone special?" The way she asked the question was so endearing, Kira felt herself melt a little inside.

"Jadzia you're very special".

"You want this to be more than just an experimental fling don't you?"

"I... I think so".

"Well good. Because so do I". She grabbed Kira's hand and dragged her forward into the woods, "come on, time to explore".


	7. Chapter 7

They explored the length and breadth of that little island like it was the most amazing place they had ever seen – which, through their haze of newfound closeness, it was. They mapped every nook and every hollow of that sacred place until they could navigate it blindfolded - and whilst they did so, nothing else mattered.

They shut out the rest of the Universe and for that glorious afternoon their world consisted only of each other, as the strength of bond grew between them with each passing moment - every look lingered more than the last, hands held tighter, touches came more naturally and with greater confidence, eyes shone, faces flushed and kisses left them breathless.

The afternoon was dragging on into evening by the time they finally collapsed down on the farther shore, hot and tired from their adventure. Kira stared at Jadzia for a lingering minute; unable to take her eyes away from this incredible woman who seemed to become more beautiful before her very eyes.

Her face was pink - not burnt but flushed and full of the life that they had found in abundance in this place. Something had happened here today that was beyond anything Kira had previously experienced. It almost felt like a cleansing; a renewal; a letting go of the long painful years of her past life so that she could move forward into this new one that was unfolding in its place.

Kira continued to look at Jadzia in wonder; a look of devilry had dawned on the Trill's face that quickly turned to action. Before Kira realised she'd moved Jadzia was standing at the edge of the lake stripping off her outer clothing. Kira swallowed thickly and was forced to bite down on her lip a little as she saw Jadzia for the first time in her underwear.

The delicate spots down her sides Kira had gotten a sneak preview of back in the holosuite were fully revealed - extending all the way down to her toes. Everywhere Kira looked there were curves that seemed to go on for miles, and the long, soft fall of Jadzia's hair, now more than a little unkempt after Kira had let it down earlier on. She was divine.

"Are you coming in? It just seems to have gotten hotter and hotter all day and with all this water here it just seems such a waste not to dive in". The blatant flirtation and double entendre of Jadzia's words were not lost on Kira. As the taller woman curved a perfect arc with her dive into the water, Kira jumped up from her seated position and began to remove her own outer layers of clothing.

Jadzia surfaced and, treading water, made it perfectly obvious that she was watching Kira undress. And Kira liked it, oh boy did she like it; standing there on that hot exposed shoreline lingering over the removal of each item as she felt Jadzia's eyes roaming over her was knee quiveringly erotic.

She wasn't sure how long she took to strip completely to her underwear; there in that limbo between self-consciousness and arousal. Jadzia never took her eyes off Kira for a moment the curve of her breasts just breaking the surface of the lake. Once Kira was done, she was confronted by a slight sadness that she was unable to dive so gracefully and so perfectly like Jadzia, but it quickly passed as the heat of the sun on her now bare skin made the lake even more inviting.

She settled for slinking her hips from side to side as she walked forward into the water, allowing its depth to slowly rise up her thighs and over her stomach. Jadzia licked her lips, perhaps just to remove the dampness or perhaps something more. Kira stopped when the water reached her chest, putting her level in height with Jadzia albeit the other woman was further out from the shore and her feet were well off the bottom.

"Come on Nerys, what are you waiting for?" The use of her given name, despite it being the third or fourth time Jadzia had used it today, still caused a little shiver down her back. It was a very intimate thing to a Bajoran to allow someone to use it - more so than she had observed in other species – which meant she always felt something when she heard it spoken aloud, but this was even more amplified with Jadzia. Perhaps it was the way she said it, but Kira knew deep down there was more to it than that. To have your name spoken by a lover was a spiritual thing for a Bajoran and she knew that she and Jadzia were so very very close to becoming that. Lovers.

Whilst she'd been lost in thought, Jadzia had swum back over to her,

"Are you all right?" Kira took a gulp of air, as she formulated her response, surprised that what she was about to say moved her so deeply. Perhaps it was all the other baggage she carried that made this one more little thing so difficult,

"Yes I'm fine it's just... I can't swim very well. I mean, I can a little but I just never really got chance to learn as a child. I suppose this might well have been where I would have learned". She waited for the apology and the pity that she had become so used to over the past months since the end of the occupation. It didn't come.

Jadzia moved around behind her, putting her arms underneath Kira's so as to hold her up in the water and give her some security. Her body pressed in close against Kira's back, warm and wet, bare skin against bare skin. Kira shivered again as Jadzia whispered into her ear,

"This *is* where you're going to learn". And with that she gently pressed forward against Kira, encouraging her to move into the deeper water and take her feet off the bottom. With a small gasp as she let go of her fear and placed her trust completely in Jadzia, she did so. Jadzia very slowly made the shape of the breast stroke with her arms,

"That's it, just copy me - it's just like drawing a big circle with your arms. Yes - that's it you're doing great. And then you just kick back and down with your legs in the same motion". Jadzia angled her body away slightly to give Kira the room to make the leg movement, but Kira was still very conscious of the sheer amount of Jadzia's body that was pressed tightly against hers. She swallowed and tried to concentrate on swimming.

Jadzia guided Kira around the lake, encouraging her gently. As time went on, Kira grew in confidence, allowing Jadzia to gradually reduce the amount of contact until she was only holding into one of Kira's hands; their strokes alternating as they swam side by side.

After about fifteen minutes, Kira turned them back toward the shore - the was sun dropping lower in the sky now as evening drew on, and she was beginning to tire from the effort of swimming. Once they were close enough in that Kira would be able to stand again if she chose, Jadzia let go of her completely, allowing her to make her way across the shallows to the shore by herself.

Kira did so, albeit a little shakily, determined not to stop swimming until the last possible moment. The result of this was the water becoming so shallow that she ended up beaching herself in the water that lapped at the sand, causing Jadzia to hoot with laughter, Kira unable to resist echoing her as Jadzia helped her up.

Once they'd returned to the makeshift camp where they'd left their backpacks and clothing, Kira flopped down against a tree - the full exhaustion of the swim finally hitting her.


	8. Chapter 8

Jadzia looked down at Kira; head resting back against the bark with her eyes closed and mouth slightly open as she recovered her breath. Sand and dry leaves stuck to her damp skin, and sitting right there in all her beautiful, unguarded rawness she was the embodiment of everything Jadzia had ever desired. It was all she could do not to push Kira to the ground and initiate what had been inevitable since they'd hit Bajoran soil first thing that morning. But she held back, instead moving over to her backpack and pulling out the pile of blankets she'd packed.

She wasn't even sure why she'd thought to bring them if she was honest, but something had compelled her to grab them from her bedroom and push them into the backpack as she'd flustered around working out what to pack that morning. Perhaps she'd thought they'd want to be comfortable if they ended up settling down somewhere. Well, if she could distract Kira long enough for her to forget they were supposed to be heading back for a transport to DS9 so they could be on shift tomorrow that was exactly what she planned on them doing.

She spread one of the blankets out on the grass at the top of the beach, dumping a second large one on top of it - the temperature was starting to drop now, slowly at the moment but it would soon start to feel discernably colder - and taking the remaining smaller ones with her over to the tree where Kira was sitting. The one thing they could do with that she'd forgotten to pack, or not thought to, was towels, but hopefully these blankets would do.

She gently dropped one of them onto Kira's lap, the Bajoran starting slightly - she'd clearly been so relaxed she hadn't heard or registered Jadzia's approach. Jadzia wrapped the other one around her, beginning to rub her stomach and legs as Kira stood up. After giving herself a cursory dry, Jadzia began to remove her underwear when she felt Kira's eyes on her and looked up.

She found herself staring into Kira's beautiful big eyes, intensity and desire radiating off the Bajoran. Keeping her eyes on Kira, she shrugged the blanket onto her shoulders so that she had both hands free, then unclasped her bra and slowly allowed it to slide down her arms until it fell into the sand. Kira's eyes were no longer on hers, and Jadzia shivered from head to toe at the pure lust with which Kira was staring at her breasts.

She couldn't hold herself back from this any longer - it was clear what they both wanted, what they both needed - so she moved over to Kira and, placing a hand on her chin tilted her face upwards and brought her lips down hard against Kira's mouth. There was more passion in the kiss now, much more, as she pushed her tongue firmly against Kira's, finding equal fervour to match hers there.

Kira let out a keening moan that travelled straight down Jadzia's spine, as she ran her hand across Kira's shoulder and down her arm. When she reached Kira's hand she took hold of it and placed it on her breast. Now it was Jadzia's turn to moan with pleasure as Kira began her tentative but keen exploration. Jadzia could feel Kira shaking against her, and only a second or two later she broke the kiss - looking up at Jadzia breathlessly.

"Are you okay?" Jadzia could almost have laughed out loud at the strangled sound of her own voice - Kira may have come up for air but she had not removed her hand nor paused in her very pleasurable caressing.

"Yes - I'm just... I'm not entirely sure what I'm doing. You know this is... new to me…"

"You're doing... really... great", Jadzia managed to stutter out between deep breaths, "heavens Nerys... that feels good..." She tried to gather her thoughts enough from the haze creeping into the edges of her vision to give some more constructive reassurance - Kira seemed to realise and paused for a moment. Jadzia mourned the loss of stimulation, but forced herself to form a coherent reply,

"But if in doubt... I've found when with a female partner... what you enjoy is usually a good place to start. That way we can take a lead from each other". Jadzia could feel her knees start to quiver as she spoke, the intimacy of their situation suddenly hitting her with a heady rush.

"Aha. You know, Jadzia you're looking a little... wobbly. You think we should move this to that blanket heap you so presumptuously prepared?" Kira winked slightly at her to show she was teasing.

"You sure you're ready?" Jadzia pulled Kira's chin gently upwards again now, making strong eye contact so she could read Kira's non-verbal response as well as the spoken one.

"Oh yes. I'm ready". Kira took Jadzia's hand then and led her over to the blankets, Jadzia grabbing at the blanket on her shoulders to stop it slipping. She failed, but realised she was largely dry now in any case, so she allowed Kira to lead her onward, dragging the blanket along behind her.

They settled themselves comfortably on the ground sheet, soft touching continuing as they did so, until they fell back into the kiss again.

* * *

Kira laid further and further back on the blanket, pulling Jadzia on top of her as she did so. She enjoyed the press of Jadzia's weight, albeit she was much lighter than the other people, men, that Kira had previously had intimate experiences with. The feel, again of Jadzia's now bare breasts against hers was an intoxicating feeling she hadn't anticipated, and she suddenly had the urge to take off her bra, to feel skin against skin.

Jadzia seemed to sense her need in the way she moved and slid a hand around Kira's back to undo the clasp, without breaking their ever intensifying kiss. Once she'd removed it, she slid her arm further round Kira's back so she could press them more firmly together - almost as if she could read Kira's mind and know what she wanted.

A flash of all the other lovers she must have had to gain this level of experience and instinct crossed Kira's mind, but she chased it away quickly. If there was one thing her life had taught her up to this point it was to live in the moment. Jadzia was here with her now and that was all that mattered.

Kira was desperate to explore every inch of Jadzia's body, but there was also a compulsion in her to make this last - the relationships she'd had in the past had been short lived and comprised of desperate snatches of time where they could be found. She had certainly never had the chance to lie close to the shore of a lake and lazily make love whilst the stars rose above her.

And, lost to a haze of pleasure Jadzia and Kira did exactly that. In this now peaceful corner of a once war-torn planet they created something beautiful, and with it Kira truly began to heal. She'd spoken earlier in the day about creating new memories, not to replace those that had never been, but to sit alongside them, and that was exactly what they were doing.

She gave herself over completely to this new, strange, but wonderful experience; the seemingly never ending softness of Jadzia pressed against every part of her both inside and out. And with the peak of her pleasure came not only a sexual release, but also a spiritual one - a final letting go of all the pain and regret she had still held deep within her, and a first step taken on her new journey; awareness concentrated down only to the uncontrollable shaking of her legs and the impossible heat of Jadzia's mouth pressed against her centre.


	9. Chapter 9

Jadzia watched the sunset, mind reeling with the heady memory of soft lips, a hot sweaty tangle of limbs and Kira screaming out her name. It had certainly taken a while to get the Bajoran to relax into the idea of a relationship with a woman, but once she was persuaded... boy. Kira had turned out to be every bit as feisty, as enthusiastic and as generous when it came to sex as Jadzia had imagined she would be.

She was propped up on the discarded damp blankets they'd used to dry themselves after their swim. The sun had dropped low towards the horizon now, highlighting the underneath of the soft wisps of cloud that had begun to gather high in the evening air. Light swept, low and golden over the lake, dancing on the little waves like candle flames.

The setting had become even more idyllic, if that we possible, or maybe it was context that gave it that little extra something. Either way, the image of this place on this night with the dying sun picking out every detail would be forever seared into Dax's memory throughout all the rest of her lives.

Kira was asleep, breathing easily and peacefully, her head snuggled into the crook of Jadzia's arm. Jadzia couldn't remember a time when she had been more content - just to sit here with Kira's every breath raising goosebumps on the skin of her breast, the heat of her pressed along Jadzia's side from chest to ankle. She was so beautiful - and Jadzia found herself hit with a sudden wave of sadness as she played through her mind the horrors Kira had gone through in her life.

But after it came a strong one of determination - absolute determination that from now on she would know joy. Jadzia was going to show Kira every frivolous pleasure and delight that life had to offer, and they'd discover some new ones together along the way. Nothing was going to hold them back from life, or from each other.

Kira shifted slightly but didn't waken. The sun had dropped further now below the distant ridge and it was beginning to get dark. Through the twilight Jadzia could still make out the shape of insects low over the water, and that wasthe last thing she saw before she closed her eyes, allowing the sound of the lapping waves sooth her until she too fell asleep.

* * *

It was many hours later when Jadzia awoke with a start. It was still mostly dark, but there was a hint of redness brightening low in the sky and the sound of birdsong was shrill in the clear morning air. It was cold - not freezing but certainly too cold for them to remain there naked and wrapped only in a relatively thin blanket for warmth.

She looked down at Kira who was awaking groggily too and looking up at Jadzia with an expression of confusion. Jadzia couldn't resist reaching a hand down and brushing the short strands of Kira's hair away from her forehead - her first impression of Kira's morning appearance was that she was utterly adorable. She could only imagine at that moment how she must look herself, still half damp hair plastered to the side of her face. Kira's expression was fortunately not one of repulsion though,

"Mmm... hello you", Kira smiled up at Jadzia with a sleepy giddiness that made her stomach turn over.

"I didn't want to wake you - you looked so peaceful. But it's cold". She gestured over to the pile of clothing that was just within reach over to Kira's right hand side. The Bajoran retrieved it and began to pull on the sweater she'd carried around her waist for most of the previous day, when Jadzia took it from her - slowly and sensually pulling it over Kira's head and down her arms, finishing off the gesture with a kiss. Kira returned the favour, and the kiss resumed - longer and more heated this time as Jadzia pulled Kira in closer to her.

Suddenly Kira pulled away, glancing to the horizon in realisation then back to Jadzia with a horrified expression,

"It's morning!? How is it morning!? Ohhhh Sisko is going to be so mad..." She made as if to get up but Jadzia pulled her back down into her arms.

"It's all right - I spoke to the Commander before we left. I told him you'd likely underestimated the time we needed for the trip and we wouldn't be back until later. He was absolutely fine with it - in fact I think he was amused".

"You, don't think he knows, about us do you?"

"Darling, I think everyone on the station knows about us by now. We haven't exactly been the pinnacle of subtlety. That's not a problem is it? You weren't hoping to keep me secret?"

"Not in the slightest. I'm just disappointed we didn't get the chance to make a big announcement and see their faces! As far as I'm concerned the Universe can know"

She stood up then, face into the growing wind and shouted,

"I love Jadzia Dax". Jadzia laughed with surprise and delight as she got to her feet and pulled Kira into her arms,

"You do?"

"Yes, I do".

"Well that's all right then. Because I love Kira Nerys". Kira's lips came crushingly down on hers then, with a fire that matched the red wash of the rising dawn.


End file.
